Aaaaarrrrrrgh! It cost my dad Rs.160. Yes, One Hundred and Sixty Indian rupees, per ticket, to watch No One Killed Jessica. I want that cash back. Imagine what one could do with that 160 bucks? My mobile currency! Ah! I could have it on my cell phone! Mcd! Yeah! I could eat LOADS at Mcd! I can have sixteen plates of chilli bhajjis. Sixteen! But nope. I watched No One Killed Jessica. I mean, what was Rajkumar Gupta thinking? Aamir was a bloody masterpiece (I want Rajeev Khandelwal back on the BIG screen!) and then he makes a confused docu-drama! Here is what I hate about the movie:
1. Well, for starters, it cost me 160 bucks. Watching movies should be made a LOT cheaper. No wonder the piracy scene in India is so strong. Free Movie on your Laptop vs 160 buck down the drain over pointless movies like No One Killed Jessica. You choose!
2. Vidya Balan was wasted. After Paa and Ishqiya, comes the bloody sadness of this SHITTY movie! There are two scenes where she takes the goddamn cake! Once, when she is in the ambulance and she says Jessica is dead. And the second, when she goes to the terrace and screams! Two scenes. The rest is just waste of talent.
3. Rani Mukherjee. I have one thing to say to her. Go. Die. Jump off a cliff or get hit by a train or take asylum is Bangladesh! Go away! WHAT WAS SHE DOING IN THE MOVIE??! God! She is a foul-mouthing twit! Such feigned arrogance. That STUPID attitude! Gah! She has forgotten to act and that over the top bitchy female she portrays is so annoying! I would rather have her killed than Jessica! I don’t know who I was supposed to be angry at, Jessica’s Killer or HER! Vidya Balan would have done a better job as the journo! Shoo away Rani! Go act in Bangladeshi movies! Shoo!
4. A corrupt social structure. A corrupt system. An unjust Judiciary. People-The Victim. OOOOOOO! Very original! Like I haven’t seen enough of it! Yuppa! That movie BORED ME! It was more boring than Jodha-Akbar. Yes, I had rather watch that movie again! No One Killed Jessica didn’t surprise me. It didn’t emote to me. I did NOT feel angry (except, at RANI! I hate you Rani). A dead movie!
5. Amit Trivedi’s music was under-played. He is so talented. His music was racier than what the movie could dream to be.
Ultimately, UTV SpotBoy. I want my money BACK! Or I will end up downloading ALL your movies and sell ‘em for twenty bucks. After eight movies of yours, WE WILL BE EVEN!
P.S: I did not italicize No One Killed Jessica. Not worth MY italicizing!
Q.E.D
