Ram-Leela has a very good star cast. The movie has four
people in the lead role- Ranvir Singh, Deepika Padukone and introducing a pair
of twins together for the first in Hindi Cinema, Debuting in Sanjay Leela
Bhansali’s Production- Deepika Padukone’s tits. Yup, they need to be given a
separate crediting altogether. They have given a stellar performance and been
given a lotta attention! Naughty Sanju! How the fuck did they get that huge? The
Sandman implanted good dreams, eh?
Okay, focus! Ram Leela, the movie. Yes! So, before watching
the movie, one has to understand that the all of Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s films
take place in an alternate universe. A Universe where a deaf blind mute girl
can become a graduate, a universe where ‘Kaun Kambakht Bardaasht Karne Ke Liye
Pita Hai’, where a paraplegic dude teaches you about Life, Universe and
Everything. It’s a world where everything can be a heavy tinge of blue, and
Sonam can fall in love with Salman.
It’s like how all Tarantino movies take place in the same
alternate universe. Same shit here. In the Bhansali universe, you also have a
village run by guns, where bullets fill the pickle jars. The people in that
village speak a language reminiscent of what we know as Gujarati. Their culture
similar to the same breed we know Narendra Modi to belong to. Of course, their
Diwali is filled with gunshots and all. So with that premise set, let us talk
about the movie.
Ram Leela is an interesting rendition of Romeo-Juliet. At the same time, as my friend described the
movie to me, ‘it is porn in HD. X-art shit!’ The story in short is thus:
Romeo-Juliet, set in an alternate universe where two contending families shoot
at each, pee on each other, openly show porn and all that jazz. So, Ram of one
family falls in love with Leela- chori from saamne waali khidki(read family).
Shit happens, someone shoots someone, lovers unite, lovers separated, lovers
opposed, world opposed, evil cousin, everyone dies, everyone cries. The End.
So, Romeo-Juliet, HD Porn, Alternate Universe, Gujarati Shit,
shooting, guns,.. Wait.. wha? Well, that’s the problem with the movie, it is
trying to be a lot of things and remains a colorful mass of Rangoli colors with
no structure, but just..interesting.
The story is all messy, okay? Like, really messy. The love
at first sight is so weird between Ranvir and Deepika. It just happens off! And
slutty li’l Juliet lets her Romeo go second base as quick as a fat kid eats cake!
But again, the main story(if you call whatever happening in the movie a story)
starts post them being smitten. The movie is a tad bit too violent in a lot of
places, a lil too loud..but it kinda works for the movie.
The movie is Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak meets Gangs Of Wasseypur
in Bhansali universe. Really good performances all through the movie- Supriya
Pathak steals the show, like holy mother of God she is
awesome! The supporting
characters seem very apt. Ranvir Singh is the man of the hour. His acting a lil
overdone, but hits the spot in quite a few places. Deepika? Haha! Okay, so
Deepika is good. I think? I guess? Uhmm.. she has done a decent job, again
kinda overdone, but she is good. Ranvir kinda makes up for her, plus her tits
are there too, so yeah!
On the direction end, this is Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s
jizz-fest! He has put in whatever the fuck he loves in life in this movie. The
highlight of the movie has to be the cinematography with the colorist doing a
really good job. Amazing shot sequences and of course, the sets-
mind-fucking-blowing.
The best part of the movie:
1)The Song Sequences
2)The Garba and Dandiya shit
3) Music
The song Nagada Sang Dhol Baaje has one of the best shot
sequences ever. The bit where Supriya Pathak does the arthi over the Gujju part
of the song, I had goosebumps!
What’s interesting is that the entire movie reminds you of
all of Bhansali’s film, even the music. Nagada Sang Dhol is like Dhol Baaje
from Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. Lahu Muh Lag Gaya is like Aankhon Ki Gusthakiya.
Some scenes are also similar. Like this one where Ranvir burns his fingers over
a lamp, so does Salman in Hum Dil De Chuke.. It seems kinda repetitive to
someone who has watched all his movies.
Anyway, this movie has some pretty awesome awe moments, and
the critic who reviewed the movie in Times Of India, FUCK YOU! You don’t know
jack-shit about movies. What a crappy review you wrote, yuppah! Go shoot
yourself. Some Meena Iyer anthe! Thu! Something and all you wrote! It’s like
you were asked to write the review at gunpoint or penis-point! Thu!
Go watch this one. For Bhansali and tits.
