Jab Tak Hain Jaan screwed!

This, according to me is the worst phase of Bollywod since Salman Khan's Saaawan. With movies like Son of Sardar, Khiladi 786 it can't get worse and JTHJ is a li'l hope in that flimsy phase. Li'l. Very li'l! 

Yes yes, this was Yash Raj’s last movie and all so all critics have gone soft on this movie. Sigh! I don’t have to. So there! This movie is only one thing. Shahrukh Khan. The others? What others? Seriously! Anushka Sharma is so ridiculously jumpy you might wanna sedate her and get her raped by the Russian Mob. Then she might shut up. Katrina. Hahaha! You know, Salman should go watch this movie. He will punch Shahrukh everytime he kisses her! Shahrukh is visibly horny with Katrina around! Sigh! The man popped his cherry, finally!

So, the movie. Yes. It’s a good movie. But so so so tiring! The last good Yash Raj directed movie was Dil Toh Pagal Hain. Veer-Zaara? Sorry, that’s not a Hindi movie. It’s a lullaby in Punjabi with half the dialogues in Punjabi! No offense, but I don’t understand Punjabi and never a boring one, at that! So, DTPH was the last good movie and this one does not even come close to that. This movie is a culmination of everything Bollywood. There is the Rich Kudi, the Vagabond Munda, the Loving Father(who comes for two scenes), God( Yes, there always HAS to be God playing around), the amnesia,  the action, the masala, the drama and of course, the Half-Naked young devotchka in the form of Anushka Sharma who somehow has to go out of her clothes in the cold of Kashmir. So very Yash Chopra. The man is always clad in heavy coats, while the woman has to be naked in the snow. Sexist. But hot!

The story is too random, okay? So let’s not talk about it. There is London somewhere, some li’l bit of Ladakh and no Switzerland! The movie is all the way SRK. He has done a real good job and carries the movie on his own shoulder. But the problem with the movie is that it LOOKS like a movie. Too unreal. Too celluloid. In the age of reality TV shows, we’d want more reality than what this movie gives.

Now, finally the music. First up, A.R Rehman is the most selfish music director in the history of music. Gone are the days when the singer selected was FOR the actor on whom it is pictured. How in the name of lord does SRK sound like Rabbi Shergill? And it gets worse during Ishq-Shava! Rehman is not thinking in terms of the movie Jab Tak Hain Jaan, but the Album- Jab Tak Hain Jaan. Maybe, this way he is giving more power in the hands of the music makers than the movie makers, but in terms of a film, failed songs. Sorry. Good as an Album, bad as the OST of Jab Tak Hain Jaan. Finally, watch it to get the thrill of it all. Decent shit.

Hence Screwed!