This is not a theory. It’s more an observation of sorts. In a love story, be it books, plays and more specifically movies, the guy has to suffer. ALWAYS THE GUY.
Devdas, who died? The guy. Romeo and Juliet. Juliet isn’t even dead yet and that morbid son of a gun poisons himself to death! Titanic. Di Cap freezes to death. Inception is technically a love story. I mean, why is Di Cap so screwed? He is suffering from love of his wife! Well, he essentially did get her killed, but the whole movie was made coz of Di Cap suffering! In The Dark Knight, Batman suffers the death of Rachel Dawes. Ghajini, SHE dies. He goes all cuckoo! Hell! He can’t even remember to put on his underwear! So ultimately, on celluloid, it is of paramount importance that the guy suffers. P.S I Love You. Well, the guy dies and the girl is all sad and trying to get on with life. So, it looks like the girl is in pain! But nope! Look closer. The movie is about the pain the guy feels while writing those letter for his wife. He knows he is dying. He knows he will not be around. That knowledge is the pain! He suffers before she does coz he is still around and is helping her to get over him! I mean, imagine a guy writing a letter to the love of his life and slowly, lovingly telling her to get over him! The guy suffers! 500 Days of Summer, a beautiful movie, by the way- a fact that a good friend of mine would vehemently agree with. In this movie, Tom Hansen is in pain. He gets drunk and quits and gets screwed. The guy suffers.Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind. Jim Carrey is in pain througout the movie, while he is trying to save the last memory of Kate Winslet in his mind!
The reason to this whole phenomenon is simple. This world is a primarily male dominated society and it is much more logical and reasonable to see the guy suffer for love. It is heroic! It would obviously be weird to see Asin, topless, bald, tattooed all over and killing people. Well, yeah! It would have been a bigger blockbuster than Ghajini, but it would just be a sad case of an Adam Sandler-esque porno gone wrong!
There are movies with a female protagonist suffering, but you will usually have a lesbian playing that lead role. So yeah! :D
Guys always suffer.
Q.E.D
Friday, December 24, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
The Seven "By-Two's" of the World
The world is divided into TWO, yes, TWO! There are only two types of people and there are very few grays here, i.e. with respect to the following criterions there aren’t any middle paths:
1) You either like Strawberry or Chocolate.
2) You are either an Ass-man or umm… U like The Twins, Becky and Betty
3) You either like Asterix or TinTin.
4) You either like Federer or Nadal. All ye FedEx fans, Screw you!
5) You either like Harry Potter or The Gay shit, Twilight Saga! (Harry Potter, only till The Half Blood Prince, coz J.K Rowling was too confused with the seventh book. She mostly ended up reading Twilight before she started off with The Deathly Hallows)
6) You either like T20 or Test! (T20 is NOT cricket, by the way)
7) The Most Important one- You either hate me or you like me! No middle paths there!
These are the Seven "By-Two's" of The World.
1) You either like Strawberry or Chocolate.
2) You are either an Ass-man or umm… U like The Twins, Becky and Betty
3) You either like Asterix or TinTin.
4) You either like Federer or Nadal. All ye FedEx fans, Screw you!
5) You either like Harry Potter or The Gay shit, Twilight Saga! (Harry Potter, only till The Half Blood Prince, coz J.K Rowling was too confused with the seventh book. She mostly ended up reading Twilight before she started off with The Deathly Hallows)
6) You either like T20 or Test! (T20 is NOT cricket, by the way)
7) The Most Important one- You either hate me or you like me! No middle paths there!
These are the Seven "By-Two's" of The World.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Random Theories-Contd.
Theory 2: Statement: Everything a man does is a direct or indirect consequence of him wanting to get laid.
Explanation: The ultimate aim of a man in his life is to get laid. In short to have a woman. The world moves coz a man wants a woman. Why did the Mahabharath happen? A woman. Why is Roman Polanski under house-arrest? A Woman, well a small girl in his case. Bloody pedophile!
Education of a man is primarily coz of a woman. Why am I being pushed into doing engineering? A woman. Lemme explain. I come from a Gujarati family and arrange marriage is the name of the game in such families. Yup, it’s true! So, eventually when I would reach the “marriage-able” age, a B.E degree would look very impressive on a marital resume. It’s true! I am being man-slaughtered coz my parents want me to get laid!
Why do lemmings commit suicide? They migrate, right? In their urge for migration, they end up falling in the ocean one after the other, why? It is the bloody mating season! They wanna get laid! Simple bloody reason!
Devdas, became a legend. Why? A woman! He essentially wanted to get laid. He ran from Paro to Chandramukhi and finally died! All this because he was just plain horny!
A man wants to be rich coz he is horny. He wants the money. Money usually gets a woman! Usually!
So ultimately, you can bring down everything to a simple plain fact. Men are horny and they just want to get laid!
Q.E.D
Explanation: The ultimate aim of a man in his life is to get laid. In short to have a woman. The world moves coz a man wants a woman. Why did the Mahabharath happen? A woman. Why is Roman Polanski under house-arrest? A Woman, well a small girl in his case. Bloody pedophile!
Education of a man is primarily coz of a woman. Why am I being pushed into doing engineering? A woman. Lemme explain. I come from a Gujarati family and arrange marriage is the name of the game in such families. Yup, it’s true! So, eventually when I would reach the “marriage-able” age, a B.E degree would look very impressive on a marital resume. It’s true! I am being man-slaughtered coz my parents want me to get laid!
Why do lemmings commit suicide? They migrate, right? In their urge for migration, they end up falling in the ocean one after the other, why? It is the bloody mating season! They wanna get laid! Simple bloody reason!
Devdas, became a legend. Why? A woman! He essentially wanted to get laid. He ran from Paro to Chandramukhi and finally died! All this because he was just plain horny!
A man wants to be rich coz he is horny. He wants the money. Money usually gets a woman! Usually!
So ultimately, you can bring down everything to a simple plain fact. Men are horny and they just want to get laid!
Q.E.D
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Random Theories
These are a set of Horny-based theories. They are pretty fun. The proof of this is experience only! So if you wanna check credibility of these theories, please feel free to experiment on yourself. BUT A STATUTORY WARNING: I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY SUBSEQUENT SCREW UPS!
Theory 1: Statement: The amount of currency on a guy’s cell-phone is inversely proportional to how horny he is.
Explanation: Now, if a guy is horny, he will try and get a girlfriend. Initially, when he is trying to covet a girl, he is more likely to just text her. Considering texting is usually free on most of the services, the currency will not drop much. But, it will drop at a very, very slow rate as he is prone to call the girl up sometimes and there are chances that he will run out of free texts.
If the guy gets the girl he becomes really horny and so, the currency is always usually close to one. The guy would keep at least that one rupee for a simple reason that he would be at least able to text the girl. Free texts again. In a relationship, the guy is always prone to calling up the girl all the time. So his currency drops drastically!
After a break up, the guy is least horny and hence, the guy's currency is a constant! Yes, a constant! It will not budge an inch!
A two-timing twit is MORE horny than others.He usually has TWO numbers. Yup! Two numbers. As there are two numbers, so he will divide his cash between the two cell-phones and the amount of currency on ONE of his phone is low!
So ultimately, the amount of currency on a guy’s cell-phone is inversely proportional to how horny he is.
Q.E.D
Theory 1: Statement: The amount of currency on a guy’s cell-phone is inversely proportional to how horny he is.
Explanation: Now, if a guy is horny, he will try and get a girlfriend. Initially, when he is trying to covet a girl, he is more likely to just text her. Considering texting is usually free on most of the services, the currency will not drop much. But, it will drop at a very, very slow rate as he is prone to call the girl up sometimes and there are chances that he will run out of free texts.
If the guy gets the girl he becomes really horny and so, the currency is always usually close to one. The guy would keep at least that one rupee for a simple reason that he would be at least able to text the girl. Free texts again. In a relationship, the guy is always prone to calling up the girl all the time. So his currency drops drastically!
After a break up, the guy is least horny and hence, the guy's currency is a constant! Yes, a constant! It will not budge an inch!
A two-timing twit is MORE horny than others.He usually has TWO numbers. Yup! Two numbers. As there are two numbers, so he will divide his cash between the two cell-phones and the amount of currency on ONE of his phone is low!
So ultimately, the amount of currency on a guy’s cell-phone is inversely proportional to how horny he is.
Q.E.D
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Truth is always frivolous. When a statement made sounds frivolous, it is more likely to be true as it is frivolous. That is the basic nature of TRUTH- it is frivolous. It does not need any reasonable reasons to back its existence. For instance, IF it is day now and I SAY that it us a DAY and someone counters me by saying that it is night, I don’t have to back my statement as it IS day and that is the ULTIMATE TRUTH.
Now a lie is a statement that is NOT true! Well, that is quite obvious, but the point is that that a lie needs very reasonable reasons to back its standing. Now, taking the earlier example, if it is day now and someone says it is night, that particular someone should substantiate his statement a LOT. I don’t know how he will prove it, but he has to back his statement with loads of reasons and each reason has to be very substantial.
Now the ultimate point of a lie is that it should be as close to the truth as possible. So logically, it should be frivolous! So consider the given graph.
Ultimate Truth Lies at Zero. It is a statement that needs no reasons to substantiate its existence or its credibility.
Ultimate lie is a statement that has INFINITE number of reasons to substantiate its existence! So essentially, it lies at INFINTY!
A perfect lie is statement that is made, that takes the characteristics of both Ultimate Truth and Ultimate Lie. So it is dead right at the centre. In between Ultimate Truth and Ultimate Lie.
Now, going back to earlier statement- The lie has to be closer to truth. So the lie, a RANDOM lie, not the Perfect Lie, should be made FRIVOLOUS! To make it frivolous, the number of reasons supporting it should be lesser. So it becomes closer to the Ultimate Truth. But as the number of reasons decrease, it weakens the lie and so the whole point of a lie is lost as it can easily be countered!
So, in order to strengthen the statement one would add more number of reasons to it. But by doing so one would be furthering it from the Ultimate Truth, which is going against the initial aim of making it close to the Truth!
So now, comes the concept of the Perfect Lie. The Perfect Lie is a statement that is in equilibrium between Ultimate Truth and Lie. The Perfect Lie can never be countered. It is as strong as the Ultimate Truth, but what it really is, is a lie!
Now the Perfect Lie should lie mid-way between the Ultimate Truth and Ultimate Lie. As Ultimate Lie is at Infinity, the Perfect Lie should be at Infinity/2 and Ultimate Lie is VERY dynamic as the number of reasons can keep on increasing to support a statement. It is more like a domino-effect, one lie supported by another and so on! Hence, the Ultimate Lie is Dynamic. Thus, leading to the fact that the Perfect Lie should also be dynamic. But if the Perfect Lie is dynamic, then it means that the statement is VARYING! But the truth does not vary and so the Perfect Lie loses its purpose!
Based on the following reasons:
1) Perfect Lie does not have a specific point as mathematically, it is Infinity/2 and that does not exist. So Perfect Lie, lies on an imaginary point
2) Perfect Lie is dynamic.
we come to the conclusion that the Perfect Lie cannot exist!
Q.E.D
Now a lie is a statement that is NOT true! Well, that is quite obvious, but the point is that that a lie needs very reasonable reasons to back its standing. Now, taking the earlier example, if it is day now and someone says it is night, that particular someone should substantiate his statement a LOT. I don’t know how he will prove it, but he has to back his statement with loads of reasons and each reason has to be very substantial.
Now the ultimate point of a lie is that it should be as close to the truth as possible. So logically, it should be frivolous! So consider the given graph.
Ultimate Truth Lies at Zero. It is a statement that needs no reasons to substantiate its existence or its credibility.
Ultimate lie is a statement that has INFINITE number of reasons to substantiate its existence! So essentially, it lies at INFINTY!
A perfect lie is statement that is made, that takes the characteristics of both Ultimate Truth and Ultimate Lie. So it is dead right at the centre. In between Ultimate Truth and Ultimate Lie.
Now, going back to earlier statement- The lie has to be closer to truth. So the lie, a RANDOM lie, not the Perfect Lie, should be made FRIVOLOUS! To make it frivolous, the number of reasons supporting it should be lesser. So it becomes closer to the Ultimate Truth. But as the number of reasons decrease, it weakens the lie and so the whole point of a lie is lost as it can easily be countered!
So, in order to strengthen the statement one would add more number of reasons to it. But by doing so one would be furthering it from the Ultimate Truth, which is going against the initial aim of making it close to the Truth!
So now, comes the concept of the Perfect Lie. The Perfect Lie is a statement that is in equilibrium between Ultimate Truth and Lie. The Perfect Lie can never be countered. It is as strong as the Ultimate Truth, but what it really is, is a lie!
Now the Perfect Lie should lie mid-way between the Ultimate Truth and Ultimate Lie. As Ultimate Lie is at Infinity, the Perfect Lie should be at Infinity/2 and Ultimate Lie is VERY dynamic as the number of reasons can keep on increasing to support a statement. It is more like a domino-effect, one lie supported by another and so on! Hence, the Ultimate Lie is Dynamic. Thus, leading to the fact that the Perfect Lie should also be dynamic. But if the Perfect Lie is dynamic, then it means that the statement is VARYING! But the truth does not vary and so the Perfect Lie loses its purpose!
Based on the following reasons:
1) Perfect Lie does not have a specific point as mathematically, it is Infinity/2 and that does not exist. So Perfect Lie, lies on an imaginary point
2) Perfect Lie is dynamic.
we come to the conclusion that the Perfect Lie cannot exist!
Q.E.D
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)