Bollywood Song Rip Offs That Will Give You Testicular Hernia

So the Indian music industry is doing well, huh? With most singers sneezing out songs out of their nose( Thank you Reshamiya Ji) it’s a booger fest out there!  That Arjit fellow and Mithoon also loitering around. Hell! Bhansali started composing too! Priyanka started singing too- well, her songs are more striptease than anything else, but no one’s complaining.

So we could say that Indian music is going places? Maybe. But the journey so far has been tainted. Stained in the blood of some of the most epic songs from world music. These songs have been raped(sometimes gangbanged), the entrails ripped apart and replaced with a terrible Indianization that would make your insides cringe. I have wept, time and again, after knowing some of the my favourite songs are shameless rip offs! And I am not talking about a measly Pritam being ‘inspired’ from Indonesian songs. I am talking about the biggies, the legends who shread your very faith in humanity. Their plagiarism makes Yo Yo Honey Singh seem like the most creative man alive (Why! Lord Why!)

   

                                               "The Yo Yo in my name is because I have Tourette's"

I have a list here that will most likely give you testicular hernia or some sort of an aneurysm or who knows, if Dr. Greg House has it his way, even Lupus! Before my top five, here are the close contenders that wouldn’t quite make the list, but give me enough content to write about. 

  

 1) This song has to be here. It was my favourite, still is: Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai from Woh Lamhe

     The rape victim: Tak Bisakah by Peterpan.

  As a revenge for shattering my love for this song, I ended up ratta-fying the entire Indonesian song and sing    those lyrics everytime Kya Mujhe Pyar Hai plays! Fuck you, Pritam

      

      2) All Pritam songs

              

      3) The Song: Pyar Tune Kya Kiya

   The Rape Victim: Regan’s Theme- Exorcist II- The Heretic.

Such an awesome haunting track, Sandeep Chowtha completely anal raped it! Turned it into a romantic song. Okay, fine Exorcist II pretty much sucked, yes. But the music did not deserve this. The franchise did not deserve this! Imagine Linda Blair singing ‘Christ Tune Kya Kiya’ in the middle of her exorcism. Wait, that does make sense, but still!

So here are my top five songs that make me wanna kill myself.

Number 5:

The Song: All Rajesh Roshan Songs

Rape Victim: Usually all Vangelis songs

Have you watched these crappy promo videos by random commerce forums or cultural teams about their fest? Those that start with jazzy funky colors and they blast into this blinding light with the name of the fest turning up out of the clouds- “The Fest” written in the Matrix movie font? I am sure you know what I am talking about! Other than the general incompetence that the video tells you about the organizers, what’s also common to all these videos is one band: Vangelis. So, Vangelis are like the unintentional brand ambassadors of pseudo-inspiration.

Other than being featured in “The Fest<add Matrix Font>” videos, Vangelis is also the personal mistress of this bald dude- Rajesh Roshan. He practically jizzes all over Vangelis. I mean, from Koyla to Kaho Na Pyaar Hai, just flicked off! And what’s worse, he has composed TWO songs from the same song by Vangelis-  Badan Juda Hote Hain and Tanhaai Tanhaai from Koyla have been flicked from the same song- ‘Conquest of Paradise’. Talent andre idu, macha! Rajesh Roshan, there are other bands to flick from too, you know. #justsaying.  

Number 4: 

The Song: Chura Liya Hai Tumne Jo Dil Ko

Rape Victim: If its Tuesday, It Must Be Belgium

Zeenat Aman, in that white dress, those amazing legs, the seductive eyes, swaying gently with her guitar and singing that song to you. Sigh. Dream come true. Of course, this wet dream turns to bed wetting when you realize that Rahul Dev Burman S/O Sachin Dev Burman copied a song. 

Wow. What could be worse than this? Maybe finding out that the fight sequences in WWE are all faked? Santa isn’t real? Huh? HUH?! Let’s just drink and die, the world is a cruel place. Talking of a cruel, place to live in…

Number 3:

The Song: Aye Dil Hai Mushkil Jeena Yahaan

Rape Victim:  Oh! My Darling Clementine

Wait. Wha?! I mean, this is a Guru Dutt movie! O.P Nayyar’s music. What?! But well, let’s face it. Plagiarism is as old and used as Hugh Hefner’s balls. This classic Hindi song about Mumbai is copied from another classic. But, this is Oh! My Darling Clementine, remember Huckleberry Hound crooning over this? 

This is just cruel! Very, Very cruel!

Number 2:

The Song: Dole Dole Dil Dole and Nazrein Mili Dil Dhadkan Mili

Rape Victim: Come September by Ventures

This is hilarious. One song copied into two different songs, into two different movies, by different music directors, IN THE SAME FUCKING YEAR! 

Baazi and Raja had the raped version of Come September featured in the same year.  How incestuous of these bastards!

Number 1:

The Song: Hey You! from Shahenshah

Rape Victim: Hey You! By Pink Floyd

The Wall, according to Wikipedia “tells the story of Pink, an alienated young rock star who is retreating from society and isolating himself. In "Hey You", Pink realises the mistake he made in shunning society, and attempts to regain contact with the outside world. However, he cannot see or hear beyond the wall. Pink's call becomes more and more desperate as he begins to realize there is no escape.” Yes, it’s a deep song. Very deep song.

Enter random fucks from the 80’s and they turns this legendary Pink Floyd song into this:

Rip my balls and feed them to a hungry goat from Timbuktu! What the fuck is that! Meenakshi Sheshadri gyrating like a conked up dildo in front of a relatively creepy Ambrish Puri singing HEY YOU! What is wrong with this world!   I grew up to Pink Floyd. Dark Side of The Moon, The Lunatic, Money, Another Brick In The Wall and this is what is done in this godforsaken country! I mean, FLOYD! This hurts too much. I am popping sleeping pills and waking up in the next century when none of this would matter. When the blasphemy of these bastards won’t be of any consequence. Screw you all!